A Journey - The Starting Point

I Don't Feel Anymore (A Meditation)

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill- fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly".

Matthew 11:28-30 (Message)

I don't laugh anymore, not sure when I stopped

Somewhere along the way life's worries and cares

Masked hope, sucked away joy

Now I don't laugh anymore. 

I don't cry anymore, not sure when I stopped

Somewhere along the way survival became a focus

Numbed feelings, suppressed emotion

Now I don't cry anymore. 

I don't listen anymore, not sure when I stopped

Somewhere along the way self absorption

Turned me inward, drained compassion

Now I don't listen anymore. 

I don't think anymore, not sure when I stopped

Somewhere along the way reflection became

Merely a source of more worry, a source of more pain

Now I don't think anymore.

Love,  joy,  peace all those things promised to me

Seem elusive as the wind, yet something I long to see

Where are you Lord, so often is my cry

That I never see you weeping by my side

I can no longer do this in my might alone

The changes I need seem to be very far from home

Attainable for others, but never quite for me

I feel so tired and defeated and anything but free. 

So this is where I start from

Drained as you can see

I've nothing left to offer, nothing more I can be

Do you really want to reach out, for someone wrecked as me?